What kind of parent are you? Strict? Let them be? I have news for you. If you believe in 'tough love' parenting, and apply it, then your defiant children or problem kids have a much better chance of growing to be well-adjusted adults. Is not that every parent's dream?
How do we know that 'tough love' is right? The Millennium Cohort Study, which analyzed over 9,000 households in the UK found that with the right mix of 'tough love' (warmth, affection and discipline), that these kids were twice as likely to form better a better character by the age of five , than those kids who parents were in the unmotivated or 'could not care less' category.
How can I apply this to my kids? You have to be able to set the limits and apply them fairly and also be consistent. Everyone in the family, from both parents, and siblings know what the bottom line is and are prepared to stick to it.
What skills will my kids be able to acquire? Experiments show that kids will be able develop such key social skills as empathy, self-control. More importantly your kids will be able to control their emotions and so they are less.likely to have temper tantrums.
Who can help me to apply 'tough love'? All you need is to follow a good child behavior program. Would not you like to be able to relax knowing that your kids are not going to fly off the wall or beat up their siblings? It would be great to think that moodiness and sulking and verbal abuse typical of defiant children are all going to be a thing of the past.