Are you single again? Getting back into the dating scene after being away from it for a while can be tough. Tougher yet if you have kids involved. A few years ago some friends of our’s went through a divorce. Over time Kelly started to express her loneliness and how she was considering getting back into the dating scene. But, her concerns were always the same “Where do I start” or “How can I find a good man when I’ve got two kids in tow?” Yep, it’s harder to date when you have kids. With working all day, taking the kids to one event or the other. Spending the weekends with homework, housecleaning and grocery shopping, where’s the time? Plus, what about the cost, babysitters, dinners out, the whole idea can be quite overwhelming. That’s when I suggested “Online Dating”.
As outlined in my book “the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook” It’s easy to do, and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. As a matter of fact you can get started meeting new people for No Cost at all. And here’s the best thing. Once you’ve got the kiddies all tucked away in dream land you can head for your computer and have some Mommy (or Daddy) time. From the comfort of your own home you can get to know people. Pour yourself a glass of your favorite white wine, put on some soft music, and chat up a storm. You’ll find many, many new dating prospects without even leaving the house. Once you create your personal ad, and start responding to other ads your social life will be enhanced almost overnight! So guess what? She decided to give it a try. And, after chatting for just a short period of time she decided there were a couple of gentlemen who seemed “worthy” of her time and money. As she would have to pay the neighborhood babysitter for the evening.
All through her online experience she was careful to play it safe and keep her anonymity guarded. But, what about now? What happens now? Well, you still want to protect your anonymity. You must remember that giving out your personal information to someone you still don’t really know not only gives them access to you, but to your children as well. And, of course as parents we all want to be protective of our kids. So, Don’t Give It Out! Not until you’ve met this person a few times offline, and you feel comfortable with him. There is no point giving someone all your personal information and after the first face to face met you feel this person is not for you. And yes, this does happen. Sometimes those we met face to face may not be quite the same as when we conversed online and therefore you may decide he is not for you. Simply arrange for a place and time to meet and take your own transportation there and back home. Never let your date pick you up at home, and always tell someone where you are going, who you are with and when they should expect you home. Listen to your intuition! Your gut feeling is always right, and you’ll know when the time is right to give out more personal information. Also, an other great tool is doing a background check. This will tell you of any criminal or marriage records.
If you do find someone special enough to spend time with. Someone who can love your children too – Yes, you are part of a package deal remember. You and your kids. Start slowly having your children spend time with the two of you together. Any action you take is going to affect their lives as well. So they’ll need to be happy with your new friend also. You’ll need to be up front with them, on a level they can understand for their age group. Just listen to your heart, you’ll know when it’s the right time to introduce your friend to your kids.
Don’t spend time with anyone who can’t love your children too. As I said earlier you are part of a package deal. For any long-term relationship or even marriage it’s you and your kids.