Sir, Clare Foges is right to criticise the present approach to adoption (“Delayed adoption is sure to damage a child”, Oct 2). As an adoption counsellor I see daily the effects of children being made to wait far too long in neglectful, often abusive, households. Children suffer because of a mistaken assumption that staying with birth parents or blood relatives must take priority, however dysfunctional the situation. “Kinship carers” are not the answer in most cases. Neither is it always helpful, when an adopted child is struggling with attachment issues, for the new adoptive parents to be told that the child must maintain contact with the birth family, that they need to visit siblings scattered across different adoptive families or foster carers, and that letters…